


Sigh No More

by chrisfaithalin



Category: Smash (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Living Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 22:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1321129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrisfaithalin/pseuds/chrisfaithalin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Karen discovers Dev cheating on her, she turns to Derek for help. Derek/Karen from Karens PoV. Takes place early in season 1, before he actually did cheat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Catalyst

**Author's Note:**

> Once again I wrote this a couple years ago and it's really well-liked on ff.net, so I thought I would transfer it over. Let me know what you think.

_And you'd be inclined to be mine for the taking_  
You're part of this terrible mess that I'm making  
But you, you're the catalyst

-Catalyst by Anna Nalick

**Chapter One**

I looked around me, unsure of where exactly to go. The rain was quickly seeping through my clothes and I took stock of my list of friends in the city. I texted and tried to call Abigail but it went straight to voicemail. I next tried the two company members who were actually nice enough to exchange numbers with me. They didn't pick up. I contemplated grabbing a hotel, but I couldn't afford it. My mind went through every option I could think of before I landed on the only available one to me. I hitched my duffle bag higher on my shoulder and headed towards the nearest subway station.

I let the rattle of the train lull me into a daze as I stared out the dark window in front of me. A flash of skin danced across my eyes and a breathy moan reverberated through my brain. I quickly tried to push those thoughts out of my head, instead counting heartbeats. One, two, three, four…

I got to five hundred and one before the train came to my intended stop. I followed the flow of the evening rush, letting it lead me out of the station. I took a deep breath of the fresh air as I climbed the stairs up to the street. It was still pouring rain, although I couldn't get much wetter. I was already soaked through and honestly the rain reflected my mood. It felt befitting. I looked around me, only being to this part of the city a handful of times. Luckily I remembered my way to Derek's building.

It was only down a couple of blocks before I recognized the building and the doorman. He must have been good with faces because he remembered me and let me in instantaneously. I had figured I would have to call up.

There were no sounds in the quiet elevator and I had nothing to focus on but to watch water drip from my jacket to the floor. I was so intent on observing the little puddles I was making that I almost didn't notice the elevator arrive at my intended floor. I got out quickly making my way to Derek's door. I forced myself not to hesitate, instead knocking on his door succinctly and confidently.

A moment later Derek answered the door clad in sweats and a t-shirt, obviously not expecting company.

"Bloody hell, what happened to you?"

That was an interesting question that surprisingly I wasn't quite prepared to answer. "I…well…" I hesitated.

"Wait, come on in," Derek cut me off. "I can't have one of my performers getting sick. Hold on just a sec."

And he darted upstairs. I glanced around, noting that the apartment seemed empty, not that I would have minded interrupting some romantic interlude. He interferes with my love life, I will interfere with his, I thought. He came back downstairs, carrying a small stack of clothing.

"Here, I think you remember where the bathroom is. Help yourself to any of the toiletries in there."

Whatever I had been expecting, this hadn't been it. He must have seen the confusion on my face. "You really believe I'm completely devoid of all human emotions? You are shivering for Christ sake. You need to get warmed up. Go take a quick shower and I will fix you up something warm to drink and then you can tell me what the hell you are doing at my apartment."

That seemed like a reasonable enough plan and I hadn't actually noticed that my teeth were slightly chattering. I followed his advice and headed in the all too familiar bathroom, although this time it was in completely different circumstances.

I let the steaming shower loosen my muscles and force myself to relax. I found some shampoo and soap in the shower. I vaguely wondered if this stuff had been Ivy's. Maybe she had left it here after she and Derek had broken up. I pushed that thought from my head, figuring it didn't matter anyways. I didn't relish the idea of smelling like her though, and I wish I had grabbed some of my own bathroom items from my duffel bag that was in the foyer. I had dumped it when I accepted the clothes from Derek. Too late now.

I got out and dried off. I examined the clothes that he had given me. A pair of sweats and a soft grey t-shirt, not that unlike the clothes that he had been wearing when he answered the door. I pulled them on, happy with the fit. They were loose and comfortable, but thanks to the relatively similar heights, not completely swallowing me up. I hung my clothes out across the shower rod, hoping that they would dry that way.

When I emerged I spotted Derek in his front room, could you really call any part of the open space a room? He was sitting on the same couch as the one he had been on during my "coaching session." Once again I had to note that things were quite different this time around. I walked over, curling up into one of the chairs adjacent to him. He reached out and handed me the steaming mug he had been holding.

I didn't recognize the clear, greenish liquid, but I assumed it was a kind of tea. I took a sip and was treated by a warm, minty flavor. I let myself take a few more sips before looking up to meet Derek's gaze which was studying my intently.

"Do you want to tell me why you showed up on my doorstep like some poor, wet puppy?"

"I need a place to stay for a night or two and you were the only person I could think of, well besides the people I tried and that weren't answering their phones."

"Okay, and you think I'm going to let you stay here why?"

"Because I have nowhere to stay and it is all your fault."

"I would love to know how," Derek laughed.

"You've been working us such long hours since the workshop. I thought things were supposed to get better after that, but it seems like the hours have gotten worse. I'm never home at all, to the point that Dev doesn't count on my being home before 9 most nights. And then of all things you let us out early and well…" I trailed off. This is the part I didn't want to talk about. I was fine telling Derek that he was a demanding boss. But, telling him about my personal life, that seemed much scarier.

"What happened?" His voice was soft, and curious.

"Dev cheated on me. I walked in on him and this reporter going at it on our couch."

Derek whistled lowly, grabbing his drink from the end table and took a gulp. "And it's my fault because?"

"You let us out early. I would have never found out otherwise." Even to my ears I sounded ridiculous.

"As much as I'm sure you would love to blame me for the all of the earth's ills, this problem is not my fault," Derek spoke succinctly, although not callously.

"If you hadn't let us out early, I never would have seen…" The image came to the forefront of my mind again. Some curvy blonde, her boobs bouncing ridiculously as she straddled Dev on the couch. Her high-pitched shrieks sounded like they came straight from a porno.

"Karen?"

I looked up to see Derek leaning forward a little, his face filled with concern. It was actually his use of my first name, not calling me that Cartright girl, which was most striking. And just like that tears started to fall from my eyes and I had difficulty swallowing past the lump in my throat. But I forced myself to hold onto some of my dignity and not completely break down into sobs.

"He cheated…on me."

Derek sighed, looking down. "That will remain one of the greatest mysteries of the century."

"What?"

"That he could cheat on a girl like you," he said, this time looking me in the eye.

I didn't know exactly how to take his words, but I decided they were a compliment.

Derek let out another heavy sigh, as if I was greatly inconveniencing him. "You can stay here for a couple of days, until you can figure something else out. Although, I just have to ask. He cheats and you are the one that gets kicked out?"

I smiled, humorlessly. "As Dev so kindly noted as I packed up my bag, his name was the one of the lease, not mine."

"He's a classy fellow isn't he?" Derek chuckled.

I couldn't help but give him a watery smile. "That he is."

"Well, let me show you upstairs. You can take my bedroom and I'll take the couch."

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly…"

Derek cut me off. "It's fine. I end up working downstairs half the night anyways."

I studied him as he led me to his room. Derek had surprised me this evening. While he was still snarky and standoffish, he was kind where it counted.

* * *

I woke up and glanced over at the digital clock. It read 6:42. I had gotten a total of four hours of sleep between my restless bouts of tossing and turning. I was torn between anger and sadness over what happened with Dev. But, what surprised me was that while those emotions were there, they weren't as intense as I had thought they would be. I had laid awake analyzing the last four months of our relationship, since I joined the musical, and realized how little time we actually spent together between our various jobs. I figured that was what drove Dev to cheat and to my lack of complete and utter meltdown.

I pushed myself out of bed and found that Derek had brought up my duffle for me in the middle of the night. I smiled at the thoughtfulness. I ruffled through it, grabbing my normal shower stuff and a fresh set of clothes before heading into the master bathroom.

I looked around, glancing at all of Derek's personal toiletries. My curiosity was piqued at this little insight past Derek's calculated exterior. The rest of his house was devoid of any personal touches, but in this bathroom his razor was strewn across the counter. There was a small cologne bottle opened, the cap sitting forgotten next to it. I picked up the bottle gingerly and took a quick whiff. It definitely smelled like Derek, although it was missing something, probably Derek's own personal scent. Derek's toothbrush was sitting alone in a shiny silver little cup, highlighting his single status. I guess I had that in common with him now.

I took my shower, trying to not yawn for more than two minutes. I got dressed and quickly swiped on some mascara and concealer before deciding that there was really nothing else to be done to try to hide the dark circles under my eyes.

I headed downstairs but I didn't see any sign of Derek. I walked to the kitchen area and found a single sticky note attached the counter. In blocky script was written "Headed to work. I locked the door behind me. Help yourself to any food. See you at rehearsal. –D"

I searched the kitchen and found a protein bar and I brewed up a small pot of coffee. I ate quickly and grabbed my purse and jacket before heading out to my morning shift at the coffeehouse before rehearsals.

* * *

"Okay guys, that's a wrap," Derek announced before turning to speak with Julia and Tom.

I went to the back of the room to gather my stuff and switch into my flats from work. This was the part of the day I had been dreading. While Derek had been nothing but gentlemanly and extremely generous in letting me crash at his place, I couldn't figure out what to say to him when we were alone. Also, did he not want people to know that I was staying at his apartment? Should I meet him outside the building? Or better yet, should I meet him at his apartment? I wish there was a guidebook for this kind of situation. Then again, I'm not sure there were that many women who caught their boyfriends in the act and had to crash at their director's place. Nope, that was just my luck. It didn't matter anyway because the decision of what to do next was taken from me.

"Karen," Derek called. "Can I speak to you for a moment?"

I couldn't discern anything from his voice, probably his intention. I finished shoving my dance shoes in my bag before going up to him, trying to keep a completely neutral expression on my face.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"Do you want to grab dinner before going back to my place?"

"I don't know," I hesitated, glancing at Ivy. She had her laser vision pointed at us as she exited the rehearsal room, obviously too far to overhear our conversations. "I'm not really dressed for being in public."

"Nonsense, as long as you leave a sizeable enough tip, nobody cares what you are wearing."

"I can't…"

"It's my treat."

Derek's tone was so light and his face was not the cold mask he usually wore. For some reason this entranced me. "How can I refuse such a charming offer?"

"Great, shall we then?"

I followed him out of the room and the building. We walked in silence as he led me down a block and a half to an upscale restaurant that I had never been to before. It was bright and airy with a lot of windows and lighting. It relieved me that it was not some dimly lit, romantic place. We were seated instantly, bypassing numerous couples waiting. Obviously Derek frequented this place often.

We were seated at a small table in the back corner near a window. While not completely secluded from the rest of the restaurant, it was definitely set apart slightly by being on the edge of the activity. We were each handed menus and left to examine them. I gulped at the prices. I kept reminding myself that Derek was rich and that he had offered. It would be rude to refuse. I still looked for one of the cheaper items.

Our waitress came around to take our orders. Derek ordered a sirloin steak and a bottle of red wine for both of us. I asked for the spinach ravioli. The waitress smiled at us both, saying she would return shortly with our wine.

We were left in silence then and while not completely awkward, it wasn't comfortable either.

"So, did you sleep well last night?"

"Not particularly, although that had nothing to do with your place and more with everything that happened yesterday."

"Yes, you would be the type that would overthink your entire relationship in one evening, trying to find that one place where you went wrong. And what did you land on?"

I hated that he could see through me so easily. "If I had been a more attentive girlfriend, not in the show, this probably wouldn't have happened. Not that I would change anything," I told him confidently.

Derek's eyebrows shot up. "Not even for darling Dev?"

I considered his question as the waitress returned with our wine, pouring each of us a glass and leaving the bottle at the table.

"Don't get me wrong, he seemed like the perfect, supportive boyfriend. But, looking back now I can't help but think that he thought he just had to wait this out. I would eventually get fed up with the business and turn to a more suitable career. He just had stick by me until that point. That's not what I want in a relationship."

"You never seize to amaze me Karen Cartwright. So, if you don't mind me asking, what is the plan now?"

"I need to find an apartment within my price range, which should be fun. I already asked the other cast members and none of them are looking for roommates, although they said they would tell me if they heard of anyone needing a roommate. I also, need to get the rest of my stuff from Dev's place. I have no idea how to go about that one. Oh and I still need to call my parents."

"Well, I'm not going to just kick you out onto the street, contrary to my reputation, so take your time on finding a place. And, as for your stuff, I could hire a team to go retrieve your belongings. You would just have to come up with a detailed list of what should be collected."

"I couldn't possibly," I quickly refused.

"Come on, let me do this for you as an apology for the creepy, late night audition I had you do."

"I would consider housing me as more than making up for that."

"Nope," Derek shook his head. "That is just me being a decent human being. This would be me going above and beyond that. Let me do this for you."

It was such a considerate offer, which made it all the more puzzling since it was coming from Derek. I would have liked to scrutinize his words for any hidden meaning, but I didn't have the energy. My gut was telling me to just trust Derek.

"Okay, that would be really helpful."

"Great." Derek grinned at me triumphantly, as if he had won some sort of battle.

Our conversation was cut short though by the arrival of our food. I hadn't eaten since that protein bar that morning so I was famished. I just dived in, forgetting all rules of decorum and looking dainty. I looked up self-consciously to see Derek smiling at me, much softer than his cheshire grin from before. That small smile made my stomach clench and my toes tingle in a foreign manner.

* * *

Derek unlocked the door and dropped his keys on the table near the doorway. I let my bag fall to the floor and sighed in relief to be home, so to speak, after a long day.

"I have to do some work," Derek explained, shrugging out of his jacket. "But, you're welcome to the tv or you can use my computer, if you don't have one yourself. Make yourself at home."

"Thanks, I think I should call my parents and explain what is going on."

"Okay. Well, I'll be in the living room if you need anything."

As I watched him walk away, I contemplated how courteous and relaxed he seemed in the last 24 hours. Not at all what I would have expected from him. Also, I was quickly realizing that he was so good at his job because he obsessed over his work. I always figured he was a genius that was naturally amazing. But, he had rehearsed all day and he talked non-stop throughout dinner about ideas for the musical. Now he was going away, to do something I'm sure to do with the musical. It astounded me.

I refocused, bracing myself for the phone call to my parents. I held down the three button on my phone and it dialed my mom's cell.

"Hello?" My mom never checked the caller ID before answering.

"Hey mom, it's me."

"Oh Karen. Your dad and I were just talking about you. We were thinking about inviting you and Dev down for Thanksgiving. Or would it be easier for us to come to New York again?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about me and Dev."

"Oh did he propose? Please tell me you said yes," she spoke excitedly.

I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn't see me. "No, mom, actually the opposite. Dev and I broke up."

"What? Why? He was so perfect." I heard some muffled sounds as my mom covered the phone to relay what I said to my father.

"We just grew apart," I explained, half-truthfully. For some reason, I was embarrassed to tell them what really happened. I wondered if they would blame me for what happened. If I hadn't been pursuing this stupid dream, maybe I would have been able to spend more time with Dev and this wouldn't have happened. My mom always told me I needed to give Dev signals that I was committed to the relationship. Maybe, she was right.

"People just don't grow apart that quickly. What really happened? You can tell me honey."

I took a deep breath, steeling myself. "I caught him having sex with another woman in our apartment."

"What?" My mother gasped. There was the sound again of my mother relaying this information to my father

"He cheated mom."

"That rotten little…" her voice trailed off. "Well good riddance. You were always too good for him."

"You don't think I caused this, by having such long hours between work at the coffeehouse and rehearsals?" I couldn't help to relay my concerns from last night.

"Of course not. He chose to cheat. That was his decision and you didn't cause it whatsoever. Honey, you are following your dream. If he can't understand that, then it is his loss. He is going to regret his decision when someday you are the talk of the town and you are starring in your own show. You'll have some handsome actor on your arm and Dev is going to think he was a fool to ever let such a wonderful, talented women slip through his fingers."

Tears welled up and I felt so comforted by her words, even if she was obligated to say them as my mother. "I miss you mom, so much. I wish you were here right now."

"I wish I were too. I love you and you are going to get through this."

"Thanks mom."

"Your dad is waving at me, wanting me to pass the phone along to him. You call me tomorrow, okay? And don't let this break you down. You're strong enough to get through this."

"I will. I love you."

"Love you too."

There was a brief moment of silence as the phone was transferred to my dad. "Karen?"

"I'm still here."

"Good, I wanted to echo your mother's sentiment and say you will get through this."

"Thanks dad."

"And, I also wanted to know if you have a place to stay. I remember that Dev had the lease in his name, right?"

"He does. I'm staying…" I hesitated; glancing over to see Derek's hunched over frame as he examined some papers. "I'm staying at a friend's house for a few days. I'm going to start searching for an apartment tomorrow. It's going to be tough though because I'm not sure I have enough to swing first and last rent."

"Don't worry about that. We'll cover that if need be and we can help out if rent is a little steep. I would rather you get a decent place that is a little out of your price range than a place in a bad neighborhood."

"Dad that seems like too much."

"If it will make you feel better, you can think of it as a loan. You can pay us back one day."

I knew this was a lie, and they wouldn't actually let me pay them back, but it made me feel better nonetheless. "Okay, deal. I will let you know as soon as I find anything. Look, dad I need to get going. I have an early shift tomorrow and then rehearsals all afternoon. So I should get to bed."

"Okay. Remember we are here if you need anything, don't hesitate to call. I love you."

"I love you too."

I snapped the phone shut and walked over to join Derek at the couch. I glanced at the sketches of scenes and props scattered across the table.

"It sounds like your parents took things well," Derek noted, his eyes focused on the drawing he was currently sketching.

"Surprisingly so. They loved Dev, sometimes it seemed like they loved him more than me. I thought they were going to blame me from what happened."

"That's ridiculous. You're their child; of course they are going to take your side. And whoever heard of blaming the jilted one for cheating?"

"I don't know. He kept saying how distant I had been in the last couple of weeks. Maybe if I paid more attention to him he wouldn't have cheated."

"Maybe," Derek conceded, glancing up at me. "Or, maybe you would have gotten married had kids, and then the first sign of a rough patch he would have cheated and then things would have been a lot messier. If he couldn't handle a little distance between the two of you, how could you possible think he could handle more responsibility?"

"I guess." I had to admit, he made sense. "Well, whatever the case they were supportive and they said they would help me out financially to find a new place so I hopefully won't be bothering you much longer."

"No rush," Derek replied easily, refocused on his sketch. "You're surprisingly not annoying to have around."

"Thanks, I guess." I shifted on the stiff couch. "Although, sleeping on this cannot be very comfortable."

Derek shrugged. "I don't get much sleep most nights anyways, so it doesn't really bother me."

I wondered if he was just being a polite host or if it really was a pain in the ass to sleep on the couch. Either way, I thought of that giant king size bed upstairs and thought how silly it was for me to have the whole thing. So far, Derek had been on his best behavior.

"Why don't you and I share the bed? It's big enough for both of us without it being uncomfortable and it would make me feel better."

Derek smirked as he looked up from his drawing. "You trust me enough to share a bed with me?"

I met his gaze straight on, to let him know I was serious. "I do."

"It really is no bother to me to sleep on the couch."

"Just let me have my peace of mind."

"Fine."

"Good."

We sat there staring at each other for a moment, I almost wanted to laugh. We were both being overly polite, trying to make sure the other was happy. It was kind of childish in its own way.

"Well, I'm going to go up to bed. I have another early shift tomorrow morning. I'm a heavy sleeper so don't worry about waking me whenever you decide to come up."

"Okay," was Derek's only response.

I trudge up the stairs and rummaged through my clothes for my own pajamas. I found a pair of red flannel pants and a baggy high school football t-shirt. I changed in the bathroom and went through my nightly routine of washing my face and brushing my teeth. I turned off all of the lights except the bathroom light so it wouldn't be completely dark for Derek. I crawled into bed and felt my body relax into the soft mattress.

While I was physically comfortable, I still had difficulty actually falling asleep. Now that there was nothing to distract me, images of Dev with that woman kept flashing across my vision. I tried to shut it out and count sheep, but that did nothing. I tossed and turned fruitlessly, trying to erase that picture from my brain. I mentally envisioned an eraser wiping out the image, but it didn't work. I may not be as emotionally distraught over the betrayal as I should be, it was still a nauseating image to have stuck in my head.

About an hour and a half later I heard the sounds of Derek coming up the stairs. I kept my eyes shut and breathing level as he got ready for bed; changing clothes, going to the bathroom, and brushing his teeth. I heard the light switch click and soon he was crawling into bed.

Once he was in bed, the air changed around us, or at least it did for me. My body tensed as I felt his presence. He wasn't touching me at all, but I still felt him around me. I wanted to move closer, but that seemed like a bad idea. However, I noticed that my brain wasn't thinking about Dev and that horrifying image of him banging the blonde. Derek's mere presence silenced those thoughts. That intrigued me enough to turn over so I was facing him and to crack my eyes open just for a small peek.

I was taken aback by Derek mirroring my movement, so he was facing me, his eyes wide open. I debated pretending to be asleep, but something stopped me. Instead I opened my eyes completely so we were staring at each other.

His features were shadowed by the lack of light, his eyes dark and unreadable. The air seemed to get thicker the longer we stared at each other. I wanted something to happen, anything in order to relieve that tension. I didn't know what he was thinking, but I knew that he wouldn't make the first move. He had been honorable up until this point and he wouldn't break my trust in him. That meant I had to take that first leap.

I started slowly, scooting closer to him. Derek followed my lead, bridging the gap between us. That's a good sign. I reached my hand up and traced his cheek, feeling the contours of his jaw underneath his scruffy beard. He followed suit, his rough hand cupping my cheek.

"Karen," Derek breathed.

I don't know what he meant by that, a warning or an invitation. But, the way he said my name, a gentle whisper, made something come undone within me. I closed the distance between us, stumbling to have my lips meet his. Once we connected, I felt my whole body come alive. Derek responded to my demanding kiss, meeting me stroke for stroke. I rolled us over, so I straddled his waist, without once breaking the kiss. His hands tangled in my hair, pushing it aside to trail sloppy kisses along my neck, his beard scratching across my skin pleasantly. I let out a soft moan as he found a particularly sensitive spot near my pulse point. My moan seemed to have a positive effect on him as I felt him harden underneath me. I grinded against him, earning my own moan in return.

I pulled him back up, needing his lips against mine again. This time he slowed the kiss, taking his time to explore my mouth with his tongue. The intensity of the kiss left me breathless, and I had to pull away to gulp much needed air.

"Are you sure about this?" Derek asked, gruffly.

My mind told me this was probably not a good idea, but every part of my body was screaming out to keep going. My brain was what led me to picking nice, sensible, loving Dev and look where that left me. For once, I let a more visceral part of me call the shots and take control.

In response to his question, I lifted my shirt over my head, removing it. Derek took that as all the answer he needed and brought me back down for another mind-blowing kiss.


	2. Noticed

_You and your ways capture what I've misplaced_  
In the perfect fashion just watch my heart's reaction  
This point of view is nothing that I'm used to  
But I won't close my eyes cause they're on to you  
And all this time it was staring me blind  
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before

-Noticed by MuteMath

**Chapter Two**

I woke up slowly, relishing the warmth of the bed. I opened my eyes to find Derek lying on his back, sleeping peacefully. One of my hands was entwined with his on his stomach. And our legs were tangled together, making my usually cold feet feel cozy for once. Neither of us had thought to close the curtains last night which meant a nice steady stream of sunlight was currently flooding the room. I glanced at the clock to see it was only 6:30. I still had a few minutes before I needed to start getting ready for work so I let myself enjoy the comfortable bed.

I felt like I should have been more panicked over what had happened the previous night, but I couldn't even muster a little bit of regret. Last night had been…I struggled to find the right word. It had been intense yes, but surprisingly intimate. I figured Derek was more a rough and tumble type guy, but instead he was focused and methodical in making sure I was satisfied. It was slow, but not necessarily romantic. There had been no long gazing into each other's eyes or whispered sweet nothings. No, it had been passionate but with no attachments.

I hoped that Derek didn't think I was going to get all clingy with him after last night or worse, that he thought it was a mistake and I had to move out. I shifted a little so I was facing him completely, studying his relaxed face. I released my hand from his and skimmed it across his features. He didn't look like the tyrant director or the confident womanizer. Instead he looked years younger and serene. It was an interesting mixture.

"Don't do that," he whispered, his voice full of sleep.

"What?"

His eyes flew open, meeting my gaze. "You can't start thinking I'm actually human or you are going to have a hard time following my directions in rehearsal." His tone was light and teasing.

"How did you know that was what I was thinking?" I asked, suspicious.

"A person becomes humanized by being seen asleep and vulnerable. Of course you were starting to think I wasn't as bad I make myself out to be."

I couldn't believe he was so close to my actual thoughts. It was unnerving to be so easily read by somebody. I tried to deflect. "What if I was actually wondering if you were going to kick me out after last night?"

"Why would I do that?" It was Derek's turn to be confused.

"I don't know. I guess, I thought you might jump to the conclusion that I was going to start hanging off of you…"

"Like Ivy," Derek finished.

"I'm not going to be like that. It isn't like that," I assured him.

"I know. You seduced me in order to use me and my body to rebound from your boyfriend," Derek teased.

I laughed. "You poor guy. It must have been simply awful for you."

"I'm a silent sufferer."

"You weren't that silent last night."

Derek hesitated for a second and his eyes glazed over, as if somewhere else. He shook his head quickly. "Look, last night was great. So great in fact I slept through the night for the first time in ages. We are two consenting adults. I don't see why we have to make a big fuss about it. As far as I'm concerned you are still welcome here and if you happened to want a repeat performance tonight, I wouldn't say no. Also, if you were more comfortable with me back on the couch, that's fine as well."

I thought about his words. While last night was amazing I didn't know if doing it again would be the wisest idea. That seemed like it could be more…habit forming.

"Look, you don't have to make a decision right now. I just want you to know I'm fine and I know you are fine. Let's just leave it at that. I've got to take a shower in order to make a morning meeting with financial backers."

I nodded, watching him climb out of bed and head to the bathroom. While I was still hesitant on the idea of having sex with him again, I had to say the view of him retreating to the bathroom was enticing. Very enticing indeed.

* * *

Weirdly enough, the two of us pieced together a weird sort of routine over the next couple of days. In rehearsals we kept everything completely professional, Derek treating me no different than before and I did the same. After rehearsal Derek took me to a restaurant, so far a different one each night. Then we returned to his apartment. During the evening we were friendly enough to each other, although we allowed each other space. I would go to bed and usually Derek followed closely behind. Once the lights were off and he climbed into the bed, the air would crackle with desire and within a minute we were in each other's arms. The sex became less about forgetting about Dev and more about just having awesome sex. The next morning it was never awkward. We both had to get up early so we would tease each other a little before getting ready for the day ahead. There was an unspoken agreement that once we left the bed, we acted normally around each other. There was no kissing or mention of sex. We left that all for the night.

* * *

"That's it for the day people. Great work today," Derek announced.

I went to the back of the room and changed shoes quickly before packing up my stuff. I grabbed my bag and made my way back across the room.

"Hey."

"Hey there," Derek smiled, glancing up from his phone. "I actually have to have a drink with some people Eileen wants me to meet with."

"Oh, that's okay."

"Look, I should only be an hour tops. Here are my keys so you can let yourself in and why don't you order in some food. There are take-out menus in the drawer next to the silverware."

"Anything you want in particular?" I asked, pocketing his keys.

"Surprise me."

"So a nice, leafy salad?" I joked. What had become apparent was that while Derek was fit, it wasn't from healthy eating; it was from lots of exercise to compensate for his unhealthy diet.

"You wound me with your suggestion."

I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. "Okay, so enjoy your drinks and I'll see ya later.

"Bye."

I turned to leave and found Ivy standing next to the door staring at me. I glanced back to see if Derek noticed that we had an audience, but he had already turned back to his phone. Well, there was only one way out, so I forced myself to move and pushed the doors open. I walked down the hallway looking straight forward; trying to ignore the clicking of Ivy's heals as she caught up with me.

"So you and Derek?" Ivy queried in an overly friendly tone.

I ignored her, thinking that silence was the best method in handling Ivy.

"Look, it's okay if you are together. Derek and I've been over for weeks now. I just wanted to give you some friendly advice. Be careful."

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"I know he seems all sweet in the beginning and he tells you that you are different than all of the other actresses he has slept with, but eventually he'll tire of you and everything will change."

I was annoyed at her trying to sabotage whatever she thought Derek and I had. It wasn't like Derek and I were in a relationship, but if we had been, it would have been none of her business. Her words carried no weight, but I wanted to be careful to make sure she knew that she hadn't succeeded in getting under my skin. "Don't project your own failed relationships onto my life. I'm not in a relationship with Derek so leave me alone." I t was close enough to the truth to sound convincing.

Ivy huffed before exiting the building and headed off into the opposite direction I was going in. Good.

I took the subway to Derek's neighborhood. As I exited I passed by a grocery store and the idea to cook dinner crossed my mind. While I wasn't really complaining that Derek always took me out to fancy restaurants, it would be nice to make my own meal. There was always something satisfying about preparing dinner, even if it didn't always taste as good as take-out or a professional chef's cooking.

I glanced around the small market. It was cramped and didn't have a lot in the way of options. At times like this I did miss being from a small farming town. There was never a shortage of fresh produce and meat to choose from. I opted for some cheap chicken legs and I picked up some asparagus to steam and a handful of potatoes. A simple home cooked meal sounded delicious after a long day of work and rehearsal. On a whim I picked up a decent bottle of wine to go with dinner.

I lugged the food back to Derek's apartment and immediately got to work in the kitchen. Derek had a fully stocked kitchen, although most of the pans and utensils looked completely unused. I figured Derek wasn't much for cooking. I first went to work on the potatoes, pealing and cutting them before tossing them in a pot of boiling water. Once that was done, I laid the chicken legs out and seasoned them lightly before putting the pan in the oven. Finally, I found a vegetable steamer in a random cupboard and put water in it, before placing the asparagus on the tray over that. I covered it and turned the burner on.

I set the timer for 30 minutes and then went in search of a corkscrew. I quickly found one with the silverware and worked the cork on my bottle of wine. Once I freed the cork I poured myself a generous glass and set the bottle on the kitchen bar. I retrieved my laptop and brought it back to the bar. I spent the next 30 minutes searching for apartments fruitlessly. While I knew my dad was willing to help, I still had to find something that I could eventually afford on my own and that was difficult, especially if I wanted to live within a reasonable distance of both workplaces.

The buzz of the timer drew my attention away from my search. I hopped down and checked on everything. The chicken needed a few more minutes, but the asparagus and potatoes were done. I turned the heat on low and removed the lid for the asparagus. I took the pan of potatoes and drained them before returning the pan to the stove. In a utensil drawer I found a potato masher. I added some milk and butter and went to work smashing potatoes. I heard the door open mid-mashing.

"Hey, I'm back," Derek called. "God that meeting was awfu…" He trailed off.

I looked to see a slightly dumbfounded expression. And I quickly realized how this could look.

"What in God's name are you doing?"

"Just cooking dinner. This sounded better to me than take-out so I picked up a few things from the store. I made enough for you if you want some, or you can order out still. I won't be offended. I really didn't mean for this to be as domestic as it looks," I rambled, kind of sheepishly.

Derek surprised me by laughing and stepping closer. "Whatever you are making it smells bloody good."

Relief flooded my body, glad the situation wasn't awkward. "It's nothing that fancy, just some baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and steamed asparagus. You can poor yourself a glass of wine if you want. It should be finished in just a few minutes."

Derek retrieved a wineglass and glanced at the bottle. "How much did you spend on this bottle?"

"A whole $15."

He held the bottle gingerly, looking at disdainfully.

"Don't be a wine snob. Trust me, it tastes good."

He poured himself a glass and took a small sip. "It could be worse."

It was my turn to laugh. I took his comment as a compliment.

He took a seat at the bar and glanced at my laptop screen. "Any luck finding an apartment."

"No," I said as I pulled the chicken out of the oven. I grabbed two plates from a cupboard and started to dish food onto each plate. "It's getting really frustrating. Anything halfway livable is out of my price range."

"You just need to be patient. Something will pop up."

"I don't want to overstay my welcome," I responded, handing him a plate. I double checked to make sure everything was turned off before taking my plate and joining him at the bar.

"Trust me, you're not and even if you were, cooking for me definitely bought you a couple extra days," he teased.

"You'll let know if I start bothering you?"

"I promise. Now, please can I enjoy this wonderful meal?"

He didn't wait for me to respond before diving in. I tried to focus on my own eating, noting that everything did taste good, but I kept glancing back at Derek. I hoped he liked the food and I looked for signs of his approval. If speed was an indicator of enjoyment, then he loved my meal. I wasn't even halfway done before he cleared his plate.

"Is there more?"

"Yeah, on the stove."

Derek jumped down and went around, quickly dishing himself up another full plate. It did not cease to amaze me that he could eat so much and yet stay so fit. He had admitted yesterday that he usually devoted at least an hour or two to the gym each morning.

"So, I take it you like it?" I fished.

"It's delicious," Derek replied enthusiastically as he brought his plate back to his spot. "It reminds me of my mum's cooking."

"Really?" Derek talking about his mother? I didn't know what to do with that, but I was curious. "I take that that's a compliment."

"Of the highest order. I love my mum's cooking. Nothing too fancy or over the top, just plain old-fashioned hearty food."

"What's your mother like?"

Derek was silent for a moment, chewing. I wondered if I overstepped, but he spoke after a moment. "She's incredibly strong and fierce. My father abandoned us when I was nine. My mum was left to raise me and my two younger sisters. But, she did it; sometimes taking up two to three jobs to make sure we never went without."

"Wow, that's amazing. So, are you and your family still close?"

"Very. My family is back in London. Eva, the middle child, is a doctor and Lena, the youngest, is a teacher. We all chip in to help support my mum so she doesn't have to work anymore. I visit numerous times a year. After my father left, I was left raising my sisters and taking care of them, cooking, cleaning, and such. The three of us were extremely close. We are all strong-willed like our mother, so it hasn't been without bumps along the way. But they are siblings. We fight but we know at the end of the day we love each other."

I had to admit, I felt a little tug at my heart at hearing Derek talk about his family like that. Whatever came out of this time spent together, I knew I could never go back to seeing Derek as completely heartless. He was far from it. He was just more guarded than most, which made him all the more endearing.

"That must be so nice. I always wished I had siblings so I could have that bond with someone. My parents were great, don't get me wrong, and I was never in want of friends, but it was kind of lonely sometimes."

"Trust me, there were days I had wished I was an only child. But, at the end of the day, I wouldn't trade my sisters for anything in the world," he said, getting up after clearing his second plate full of food.

"Do you want anymore? Because if not I was going to pack everything away in the fridge."

"Go for it," I replied, going into the kitchen. I dumped my bones, rinsed my plate, and put it in the dishwasher.

"This is why I never cook. I hate cleaning up afterwards."

"I can't picture you cooking," I mused.

"Well, maybe I will have to cook for you sometime, to return the favor and show you that I'm an amazing cook, although not as good as you."

I smiled at his compliment. After putting the leftovers in the fridge he dumped the pans in the sink and shoved me over.

"Hey," I complained.

"You cooked, it's only fair I clean up afterwards."

"How about you rinse and I'll put them in the dishwasher," I countered.

"Deal."

We set to work and within 10 minutes the kitchen was all clean.

"Thanks again for dinner. That was lovely," Derek said in a warm voice.

"You're welcome. Are you going to do some more work before bed?"

"Yeah, I really need to figure out the staging for a couple more numbers. Eileen wants concepts so she nail down the budget."

"I'm going to look for apartments a little longer in here then."

"Okay, although don't stress yourself out about it. The right place will present itself eventually," Derek assured me, touching my shoulder gently before going to the couch where he liked to work.

The small gesture surprisingly affected me. We were careful to keep touches and caresses in the bedroom, to keep things separated. At least, that was what I thought. But, the stroke on my shoulder was so familiar and comforting. I was slightly unnerved by how much that small action meant to me. I took a gulp of wine, trying to sooth my nerves and focused on apartment hunting.

After an hour of searching, I growled in frustration. I remembered Derek's kind words and decided to call it a night. I powered down my laptop and took my glass of wine into the living room were Derek was listening to Ella Fitzgerald while he stared at sketches on the table, a pad of paper on his lap. I joined him on the couch, curling up next to him, although not close enough to touch.

"How's it coming?"

"Not so well." Derek ran his hand through his hair, similarly frustrated.

"What number is it?"

"On Lexington and 52nd street. I can't decide if it should be a cityscape or if there should be pieces of the studio behind him."

"Can I see?" I set my glass down and leaned in closer, placing my hand and my chin on his shoulder to get a better look. I looked at the mock-ups of the set. "Neither."

"What?"

"Just have a simple starry night backdrop, similar to the one in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, except now there is no house. There is no future."

Derek was silent for a moment, staring at the pictures in front of him. "That's actually a good idea." Derek turned his head slightly so we were mere centimeters apart. "You have an amazing knack of surprising me Karen and I wouldn't have it any other way."

There was something else in his voice besides the normal teasing. But, I didn't want to analyze it or overthink anything. I merely went with my gut and closed the distance between us, skimming my lips across his softly. I felt his lips turn upwards before he reciprocated the kiss.

"Should we take this upstairs?" I asked breathlessly after what had seemed an endless kiss.

Derek grinned, pushing me back into the sofa so he hovered over me, careful to not put all of his weight on me. "I'm not sure I can make it up all of those stairs."

"Oh really?" I asked, coyly.

"For our safety, I think it's best if we stay right here."

"Well, if it's for our safety then." I pulled him down to me roughly capturing his lips for another kiss.

* * *

"Can you come here and help me with the choreography?"

"But, Tyra is about to reveal best picture."

"Bloody hell. So, when I get interviewed about the choreography for this number and they ask why it sucks, I will tell them that Karen just had to know which model got best picture."

"Fine, what do you need my help with?" I grumbled, going over the dining area where he had pushed everything to the side to create a space to choreograph.

"It's easier to do this waltz part with an actual partner than an imaginary person."

"Is this the real reason you've kept me around for so long?"

"You've figured out my devious ways. Now come here," he said, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me towards him. He turned on the song, the one where Joe and Marilyn meet, and started to lead me around the dining room.

After a minute or two of dizzying moves he stopped and paused the music. "I don't know, it still doesn't seem right."

"Maybe, because it's too formal. This song is just the two of them and they feel like they can finally be themselves. The dance should be more laid back."

"Like what? The funky chicken?"

I burst out laughing. "I would pay money to see the great Derek Wills do the funky chicken."

"There's not enough money in the world, darling."

I stuck my tongue out at him, but returned to the topic on hand. "The dance should be sensual but fun. You're the choreographer, come up with something that fits that."

Derek pulled me back in his arms, but a little more loosely. He turned the music back on and we started again. This time there were no sweeping steps, but smaller more informal ones. Derek spun me out and I came back.

"This is much better," I told him, as the song continued.

"It is, but I don't know exactly how to write down the moves to this."

"Then don't. Just tell them to have fun with the song."

"Is that what you're doing? Having fun?" Derek asked, lightly. He paused to dip me backwards.

I let out a giggle. "Yes I am," I replied when I was upright again and we began moving again. "Aren't you?"

Derek studied me a second, brushing a curl from my cheek. "I am," he whispered and pulled me in closer.


	3. Sigh No More

_Love it will not betray you_  
Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free  
Be more like the man you were made to be  
There is a design, an alignment, a cry  
Of my heart to see,  
The beauty of love as it was made to be

-Sigh No More by Mumford & Sons

**Chapter Three**

I glanced at my cellphone, noting that Derek was 15 minutes late now. I wasn't that worried about it, just a little impatient. The previous three weeks had been surprisingly good. I still couldn't find an apartment so I had continued to live with Derek which seemed to not bother him at all. He had stayed true to his word, hiring a team of movers to get my stuff; although I ended up going with them to make sure they got everything and didn't mistakenly take something of Dev's. The boxes were currently sitting in Derek's dining room.

As for Derek and I, we were good, even if I didn't know how to define our relationship. We got along well, enjoying each other's company but also knowing when to give each other space. A few intimate gestures had slipped into our daily lives, a touch here or a glance there, but for the most part it all still remained in the bedroom. At some point it seemed we had crossed the line of meaningless sex, but I didn't know if we were actually in "relationship" territory. I learned more about him as he slowly opened up to me. I did the same for him. He even cooked dinner for me a couple times, although it seemed more friendly than anything else. Whatever we were, we were good.

"Sorry I'm late, bloody traffic," Derek said as he took his seat.

We had planned on meeting up for dinner. I had a double shift at the coffeehouse and he had meetings lined up all day on our only non-rehearsal day this week. We knew we would be too tired to actually cook this evening so we had planned on going out.

"I hope you don't mind I ordered for you. I am starving and I didn't want to wait."

"Depends on what you ordered me," Derek hedged, although amused.

"Pork chops."

"You are a lovely woman, I must say. That's more than fine with me."

"I figured. So how were your meetings?" I asked before taking a sip of water.

"Dull, but we got some financial things figured out which will hopefully keep us going for a while."

"That's good."

"How was your shift?"

"I caught a customer looking at porn on his laptop."

"What? You've got to be joking," Derek laughed.

"I wish. I had to kick him out."

"What is even the point?"

"I don't…" I trailed off, my eyes glued to who just walked on.

"What is it?" Derek turned around to look behind him. "Is that who I think it is?"

"Yes," I said tightly. "That's Dev and the woman he cheated on me with."

I watched as the couple was led to a table two down from ours. Dev spotted me and then his face grew cold as he saw who I was with. Luckily he didn't come over to say anything; instead turning back to the woman he was with.

"Well, this is awkward," Derek whispered.

"No kidding."

"Do you want to leave?" Derek asked, his voice filled with concern.

I considered that option, but decided against it. "Honestly, it's not as upsetting as I thought it would be. I'm more angry than anything else."

"If you want, you can put your hand under the table and I can make obscene faces so he thinks you're giving me a hand job," he said in a completely serious tone, although his twinkling eyes tipped me off that he was kidding.

I chuckled at his suggestion. "That seems a little juvenile."

"Or, I could challenge him to a duel in defense of your honor. Although all we have to fight with are butter knives…"

I full out laughed in response which earned me a genuine, sweet smile from Derek in return. Those smiles were rare and I loved each one that I garnered from him.

"There you go," he said softly, reaching out to touch my hand with his. "That's how you make him jealous. Show him that you are happy."

That's when I realized I was happy. There with Derek, sharing my day and laughing at something he said, I was very happy. And that scared me.

* * *

"Let's go through it again, from the beginning of the number," Derek called out.

I inwardly groaned, tired of doing this stupid tango. My feet were sore, I was thirsty, and I still smelled like coffee from my morning shift. I wanted rehearsal to be over. I reached out for James who brought me into his arms again. Derek counted us off. Halfway through the number was when it happened. The couple next to us over did it on a turn, losing balance and knocking into James who dropped me on our own spin. I fell backwards to the ground, feeling one of my ankles give in an excruciating way.

"Shit, what happened."

"Who is it that fell?"

"Did she hit her head? Do we need to call an ambulance?"

I groaned from all of the noises and the vision of over a dozen heads staring down at me. "Don't call an ambulance. I just twisted my left ankle."

"Look, I think that is a wrap for the day, we should give her some space," Tom called out.

If I could have, I would have reached out and given Tom a huge hug. Almost everybody cleared away except Tom, Julia, and Derek.

"Let me see?" Derek demanded, crouching down to get a closer look. He took my ankle in his hands, gently unbuckling my shoe and removing it. He prodded my ankle and foot, asking me to bend my foot and wiggle my toes. "It looks like a mild sprain. But, we can get you to the hospital if you want to double check."

That seemed like such a hassle in that particular moment. "I just want to go home and rest. If it gets worse I will go to the doctor tomorrow."

"Is there anybody we can call, a boyfriend or friend perhaps that can come pick you up?" Julia asked, maternal concern dripping from her voice.

I tried to keep my face neutral. "Um, no not really."

"I can take her to her apartment, make sure she gets home okay," Derek offered.

"Really?" Tom asked incredulously.

"Really," Derek responded coolly.

"He's got this," Julia said to Tom, drawing him away.

"Can you put any weight on it?" Derek's voice was much softer now that Julia and Tom were out of earshot.

"I think so."

Derek put an arm under my shoulder and helped me to stand up. He kept his arm around me, supporting a lot of my weight. I put my left foot down lightly, and grimaced. But, my ankle held firm.

"Can you make it out of the building?"

"Yup, no problem." I tried to sound confident.

The two of us hobbled slowly out the building, with Derek holding as much of my weight possible without completely carrying me. I grimaced at the pain, but kept going, knowing it was only a short distance to the street. Once we made it there, Derek hailed a cab and helped me in before sliding in beside me. Once the door slammed shut and the cab took off after Derek spouted off his address, I collapsed against Derek.

"God, it hurts like a bitch." I groaned.

"I'm sorry," Derek whispered, putting his arms around me.

"You should be. This is all your fault, you and your stupid choreography," I bit out, although with no real venom in my words.

"I know."

"And stupid Julia and Tom for creating such a stupid musical to begin with."

"I know."

"Oh, and stupid ankle that can't even hold up my own weight, it doesn't seem like that hard of a task. And I swear to God if you make a joke about my weight I will punch you so hard."

Derek laughed, kissing my forehead. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Distract me. Tell me a story."

"Like what?"

"Anything? Something funny."

"Well, when I was eleven I had to go to the front of the class to write out a math problem on the board. I dropped the chalk and when I bent over to pick it up the seat of my pants completely ripped."

I laughed into his jacket, where my head was still buried. "You just made that up."

Derek chuckled. "I wish. That day I learned the importance of a good fit in your pants."

"Is that your most embarrassing moment?" I asked, peeking up at him.

"Sadly no. That title is reserved for when I was 15 and out on a date with Emma Collins. I had a huge crush on her and I couldn't believe she actually agreed to go out with me when I asked. I bragged about it to all of my friends. We had gone to this restaurant she had insisted we go to. Turned out this guy she liked worked there and she just wanted to try to make him jealous. It worked. I got ditched halfway through dinner."

"Oh poor teenage Derek. Girls can be vicious."

"Don't I know it. What about you? What is your most embarrassing memory?"

"My junior year of high school in English class I got a note from this guy, asking me out. I was so excited that when the bell rung I ran off to tell my best friend and I smacked right into the door."

"What?" Derek guffawed.

I felt my cheeks heat up slightly at the memory. "My timing with twisting the door handle and pushing the door open wasn't exactly synced up correctly and I smacked my face into the door. The whole class laughed at me and for the rest of the year I was called Door Face…they weren't exactly the cleverest bunch."

"What about the guy that asked you out?"

"Oh, well he thought it was funny enough to merit still going out on a date with me. Although, his idea of a romantic date was taking me to the local 7-11 in his filthy truck, buying me a slurpee, and trying to cop a feel."

"So a real soul connection between you and him."

"I lay awake at night, thinking about how I let true love slip through my fingers."

Derek snorted, such an un-Derek sound. "Almost there."

Sure enough we were about a block away. When we arrived Derek paid for the cab and helped me out onto the sidewalk. I cringed as I gingerly put weight on my ankle.

"You know, I could just carry you up the apartment," Derek offered.

I considered that option, but it felt slightly humiliating to have to be carried across the lobby when I could technically limp across the distance. "Thanks, but I think I've got this."

"If you say so," Derek said, keeping his arm around me as we slowly made our way across the lobby. It was excruciating, but I made it. The elevator was fast and we made it to the apartment relatively quickly from there. Derek unlocked the door and we got inside. All I really wanted to do was lie down, but the image of the stairs horrified me. I didn't really want to lie down on the stiff couches either.

"I don't know if I can do those stairs," I noted.

"Would you like me to carry you up them?" Derek asked, politely.

"Yes please."

Before I could even finish getting the words out, Derek had swept me up into his arms. I felt a little ridiculous, but I had to admit I felt safe in Derek's arms. He took me upstairs and very gently placed me on the bed.

"Let me get you some ice and ibuprofen for your ankle," Derek said before disappearing.

Derek reemerged with the bottle of ibuprofen, a glass of water, and an icepack wrapped in a washcloth. I took the bottle and water from him, popping the cap and taking out three of the maroon pills, swallowing them with a gulp of the water. Derek arranged my ankle so it was resting on a small pile of pillows and the icepack on top. He handed me the remote for the tv on the dresser that we never used because we were always otherwise occupied when were in bed.

"Here, pick something out to watch. I'm going to go downstairs and fix you up something to eat. Call if you need anything."

What I actually wanted more than anything was to take a quick shower. I still smelt like coffee and now I felt sweaty and uncomfortable to boot. The throb in my ankle was intimidating though. I glanced over to the bathroom. I could do this, I told myself. I got up, and hobbled over to the dresser, grabbing a pair of Derek's sweats and one of his t-shirts. It sounded comfortable to me. I half walked, half hopped to the bathroom. I took a quick shower, keeping my foot off the shower floor as long as possible. Once I was done, I got dressed and hopped back to bed, putting the icepack back on my foot.

I felt much better and I think the ibuprofen was starting to kick in. The throbbing had subsided to a dull ache. I snatched the remote and turned on the tv, flipping through channels. The sight of Julie Andrews singing on a vivid green hill stopped me in my tracks.

"Ah, The Sound of Music," Derek said, entering with a full tray. He came over and set it next to me. He climbed in bed, joining me. On the tray were two bowls with soup and two glasses of wine.

"What's this?"

"Whenever I was sick as a kid or had a bad day, my mum would make me chicken noodle soup, but the crappy kind in the can."

I was touched by the thoughtful gesture. "My mom did the same thing. One time she tried giving me homemade chicken noodle soup and I refused to eat it. All I would have was the condensed kind."

"Cheers to delicious, cheap soup then."

I raised my bowl in response before taking a small spoonful. It did make me feel better, as irrational as that was.

We watched the movie in silence for a few minutes, both of us sipping our soup. Derek was the first to speak.

"You know you are going to have to stay off your ankle for a couple of days, maybe longer. You should probably call into your work."

"I'm off tomorrow, so I'm fine for the night. I will call first thing tomorrow morning. What about rehearsals? Are you going to replace me?"

"Nope," Derek said confidently. "This kind of stuff happens. We can easily let you heal up for a week or two, it will be no problem."

I half-wondered if Derek said that because we were sleeping together, but that didn't seem like him. Not to mention, I was only a chorus girl and we didn't have any performances coming up.

"I want to at least come to rehearsals so I don't miss anything."

"You should rest tomorrow, but I will see if I can rustle you up a pair of crutches."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

We fell back into silence as we finished up our soup and wine. Once we were both done, Derek ran the tray back downstairs before rejoining me in bed. He noticed me trying to get comfortable. He grabbed a pillow and placed it on his lap, patting it. I took the signal, readjusting my ice pack before lying down diagonal on the bed with my head on his lap. Derek brushed my hair from my face, running his hand across my forehead and cheek. He kept caressing my hairline soothingly. I should have felt calmer, but the intimacy of the moment made me panic.

"You don't have to keep me company if you don't want to. You can go do work if you want." I told him.

"I'm fine here," Derek assured me.

His fingers kept up with their ministrations. "You know, I'm not going to be up for sex tonight."

We both froze at the abruptness of my words. Derek moved first, turning my head slightly so I was looking up at him. I pulled away, sitting up instead.

Derek became guarded, his face cautious. "I figured as much and honestly I'm a little offended that you would think I expect that from you. What's going on?"

"I don't know," I admitted, truthfully. "All I know is you are being perfect and all of a sudden I feel scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared that somewhere along the way I was stupid enough to start to have feelings for you. You've been so nice to me over the last couple of weeks and as ridiculous as it sounds is I am insanely comfortable around you. I know that you're not the relationship type and you don't have feelings and…" I struggled to find the words I wanted to express myself.

"Karen," Derek cut it. "Do you really think I would let just anybody stay at my place indefinitely?"

"What?"

Derek rolled his eyes, scooting closer. "Look, I wouldn't have done all of this for just anybody. I like you. I like having you around. You are surprisingly not annoying to live with. You let me have my space , and you don't take offense to what I say or do. You are the first woman I have felt like I could be me around."

"So you are saying…" I couldn't wrap my head around it, let alone say it.

"I'm saying for the last week I've been actively praying, and mind you I'm not the praying type, that you wouldn't find an apartment. I'm saying that I don't want you to move out. I'm saying that I want to be in a relationship with you."

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face at Derek's romantic speech. But I knew that I what he was saying wasn't rational. "You're crazy. We can't live together."

Derek laughed. "What are we doing now?"

"You are housing me until I get my own place."

"Darling, we sleep in the same bed, we cook, we clean, and we tell each other about our days. I think that is living together."

"That may be, but we can't keep living together, even if we both have feelings for each other. We would be going about things all backwards. We need to date for a while before we move in together."

"And how did that work out for you last time?"

I paused. He had a point. Doing everything in the right order didn't guarantee a successful relationship.

"I'm just saying, nothing would really change, except maybe the next time you fall down in rehearsal we won't have to lie about me taking you to your apartment. What's the worst that could happen? We break up and you move out."

I studied Derek for a minute, seeing the earnest emotions written all over his face. It was a little mind-boggling that he wanted to be with me, but I could see it there, written on his face, adoration. "If I do this, I will start chipping in for utilities and food and stuff. You'll also have to give up some closet space."

Derek laughed, pulling me in for a quick kiss. "We'll negotiate the finances later. I'm just glad you are going to stay."

I brought my lips to his for a longer, slower kiss. We had shared plenty of kisses in the previous weeks, but this one felt different. The normal passion and intensity was still there, but there was something else mixed in as well. Love.

* * *

I struggled to open the door while keeping my crutches upright and my purse on my shoulder. I'd seen people use crutches before and it seemed simple enough. I had no idea it caused your arms to be so sore and they were actually hard to balance sometimes. Not to mention my purse kept falling off my shoulder and slamming against my crutches. But, I was determined. I had already missed two days of rehearsal and I didn't want to miss what was going on. I had hoped to sneak in during a run through of a number, but I had the unfortunate luck of banging open the door while Derek was talking to the group.

"So, nice of you to join us Ms. Cartright," Derek spoke in his usual dry tone.

I wanted so badly to stick my tongue out at him, but instead I apologized. Tom waved me over to the table he and Julia were sitting at, pointing to an empty chair next to him.

"As I was saying, there needs to be more flirtatiousness between the couples. Just have fun with it."

I smiled, remembering our conversation a few weeks ago about having fun while dancing. It seemed he took that lesson to heart.

"I'm sorry about Derek, moody director and all," Tom whispered to me as I sat down.

"It's fine. I'm used to it by now."

"How are you feeling?"

"Better. I think Derek was right that it's a mild sprain. The swelling has gone down a lot. Hopefully I will be up on my feet soon."

"Good. And was Derek okay the other night, you know with getting you home alright?"

I blushed a little at the question. Derek and I agreed that we didn't really care if anybody knew about our relationship or not, it wouldn't change anything to us. Keeping secrets could be exhausting. But, faced with the opportunity to come clean, I didn't know how to even begin to explain. Well actually, Derek and I have been sleeping together for weeks but have just now decided to give a relationship a try. Yeah, that didn't seem weird at all. I went with the simple answer. "He was a perfect gentleman."

"Really?" Tom asked, always eager to see the worse in Derek.

"He's not as bad as you give him credit for being." I didn't say anything else, instead turning my attention to the rehearsal. I felt Tom's stare for a few seconds, but he quickly became distracted by something Julia said about the book.

The rest of the rehearsal passed by uneventfully. I took note of a couple changes Derek made to the choreography and was pleased to hear that they would be working on vocals tomorrow. I wouldn't have to sit out for that.

"Okay, guys that's it for the day. Great work," Derek announced.

I got up from my chair, trying to get the crutches situated correctly. Derek came straight towards me, and of all things leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"And you didn't have any problem getting down here."

"I took the cab like you requested. How much trouble could that be?"

"Fair enough. Do you have any requests for dinner tonight?"

"Oh could you make that salmon again. That was delicious."

"Your wish is my command," Derek teased, grabbing my purse and putting a hand on the small of my back. "You ready to go home?"

Him just saying that, home, made my toes tingle. I grinned. "Yeah, let's go."

We walked out together, or I hopped on my crutches. It was then that the rest of the room's occupants came to mind and I noticed that were a good half a dozen people openly staring at us, including Ivy. All of them had dumb-founded looks on their faces. Some of the other people had the decent courtesy to not stare, but they probably were paying attention out of the corner of their eyes. I glanced at Derek who had a devilish smirk on his face. I waited until we were safely in the taxi to say anything.

"You did that on purpose?"

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"That little display in there? It had been for their benefit."

"In fairness, it had been for my benefit too, so I would know whether or not we needed to stop at the store before going back home."

I laughed. "You are so sly."

"I figured that was the least awkward way we could announce that yes, we are in a relationship. I don't want to hide you and I hate secrets. So, while I would have said those things to you anyways, it had the added bonus of telling everybody that we are together. Two birds, one stone."

I shook my head. "You know, I love you right?"

"I seem to recall you moaning something along those lines last night, although it was hard to tell if you loved me or just my body. Or more specifically what my body was doing to your body."

"Definitely just the body. You're just a pretty face to me."

"My looks have always been such a burden. Nobody loves me for me."

I cracked up, no longer able to keep a straight face. I leaned up giving Derek a sweet kiss, which he responded to by moving his lips softly against mine. When I pulled back, his face was serene, giving me his sweet smile that I had learned was reserved for me. I was probably wearing a similar expression.

"I love you."

"I love you, too"


End file.
